I have sat here all night contemplating. Our young 30 year old neighbour committed suicide in his house a few days ago. We thought his sick elderly mother had died until chatting to the other neighbour tonight.
(I'm sorry if I upset anyone talking about this.)
This seems to be happening more and more in New Zealand. This is the fourth person in a year i know of to go this way.
We are obviously doing something wrong.
Three years ago I sat in on a group of very messed up 10 -13 year olds going through counselling for major issues like anxiety, suicidal tendencies etc - sessions for several long months once a week. ( I struggled and struggled with these sessions.) Kids that were refusing to go to school, who had harmed themselves intentionally etc.
One of the kids was my own. He was the least affected and we had just found out he had aspergers (a very mild version.).
Several months before this when out in a park he took off in a real panic in tears. This was totally out of the blue. We then found out he had been having major panic attacks in new places and was petrified that he may not know where a toilet was if he needed one. We found out he had been getting off the school bus suburbs away and going to find out where a toilet was (even if not needing to go) but he just needed to know where one was.
We then went through a phase of the kid not leaving the house at all apart from school.
This made school holidays etc very very hard and the husband more than once having to come home from work to watch him while the others and I had some time out of the house.
We are thankfully all over this and you would have no idea he even has aspergers and just goes on with life in a normal way. His school has been amazing (lots of quirky kids ) and I am forever in debt to his primary school principal who told us to go to this highly regarded private school as he would have sunk in the all boys catholic school most boys went on to.
It makes me realise what we as parents have been through and I often think of how the other children in his counselling group are doing.
So much seems to be affecting our children these days, with anxiety and bullying issues affecting far more children than we realise.
And I constantly think of all the poor families in Christchurch still heavily affected by those awful earthquakes. And the mental health issues they face. I wonder if they are getting the help they all need?
My school has a social worker and a counsellor which is an absolute god send. I think all students at all schools should have access to someone to talk to.
It is good for adults to talk and talk too.